Kristen Rucker, LMSW, APTT
— Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1841
Easier said than done, and you don't have to figure it out alone. Don't let life steal your sparkle; let's find your way back to it together.
We are patterned beings.
From the time we are very small, we learn to adapt and to dim certain parts of ourselves that didn't feel welcomed or celebrated, while emphasizing the parts of us that got the best out of people. No child makes a conscious choice to do this. It's an automatic survival response. None of us escape childhood unscathed. And in the process, unconscious beliefs get formed about ourselves, others, and the world that will quietly shape how we move through life.
But something in us never stops calling. A force inside us always propels us toward reclaiming what was lost.
Underneath all the coping, all the performing, all the ways we learned to get through, the real you longs to be seen and heard. That is what therapy with me is all about: finding your way back to you, delighting in who you really are, and living more connected to yourself and to what lights you up inside.
“Nature never repeats herself, and the possibilities of one human soul will never be found in another.”
— Elizabeth Cady Stanton, 1892
Most people come into therapy feeling full of contradictions, confused and frustrated by their own patterns, behaviors, and reactions. Instead of focusing on changing behavior, I take a non-pathologizing, pro-symptom approach. I first want to understand why a symptom feels necessary and uncover what belief it's operating from. My experience is that when we get curious and compassionate about the parts of us that make us cringe, we are so often surprised. It's rarely what we feared most. It's usually something much more tender than that.
These are some of the areas I specialize in, but what matters most is you, not the label. If any of this feels familiar, you're in the right place.
Trauma is not the event, it is what happened on the inside, what the experience felt like, what you came to believe because of it, and the protective parts of you that had to show up to keep you safe. Some of those parts are still stuck in the past and working overtime.
When your safe person becomes the source of your pain, the aftermath is disorienting and isolating. Everything gets called into question. Every part of your life is impacted. The PTSD symptoms you're experiencing: the hypervigilance, the intrusive thoughts, the inability to trust are not overreactions. They are normal trauma responses.
The way we learned to connect makes complete sense given what we experienced growing up. Whether you're navigating codependency, struggling with boundaries, or longing for authentic connection, we'll look at the patterns underneath and work from there.
So much of our suffering lives here, in what we came to believe about who we are. We will work on rebuilding a compassionate relationship with yourself, developing shame resilience, and learning to trust your own inner voice again.
I offer a free 15-minute consultation so we can connect and see if we're a good fit. Sessions are $160.
